User blog:Wachowman/Wiki Kombat S1E3 (Only One Is Real)
Wachow: greetings readers, before you read today's episode be aware I accidentally fucked Legion up by posting this blog 47 seconds after his, so please go take a look at it right here now that that's over, enjoy your read! Last Time on Wiki Kombat Wachow: I am randomly selecting 7 groups of 3, one of you will be alone, you will want to survive with your group until the end, then all 3 of you...or whoever is left...will be crowned as winners... (Screen shows Mind, Purple and TK) Wachow: Powerful Mind, Purple Arion, and TK Mit. Assy: Purple! (Assy steps onto the field but is pushed back by an invisible force) Assy: agh! Wachow: do not interfere with the fight! (A knife shoots out of the ground under Mind) (Flats then quickly throws another knife at TKs head) (Flats than swiftly pierces his knife into Purples stomach) Wachow: patients, now Lak. Lak: yes sir? Wachow: why don't you tell them about our plan? (The screen goes black) This Time 10 Years Prior (Younger versions of Assy and Purple are seen talking to a man) Man 1: Well then, if everything seems to be fine then I'll send your papers to the Council and one of you will be guaranteed a spot. Assy: only one of us? Man 1: I'm afraid our division isn't powerful enough to send two papers, once I send these to the council they'll tell me who to put into our states chosen fighter. Purple: I see... (Another Man walks into the room) Man 1: Assy, Purple, is it done? Purple: not quite Polar. Assy: Toxic here has the papers ready and set, but says he can only send one of us. Polar: well that won't work out now will it. Toxic: there's not much I can do, you two and another man are the final 3 at this time, only one can go on. Assy: why can't you just...you know...send both our papers directly to the Castle Of Stars, that means we're guaranteed a spot. Toxic: oh no, I cannot do that at all, if Lord Wachow finds out a weak division sent two fighters he'd be furious, possibly even kill everyone in town. Polar: well then. Purple: Polar, Plab B? Polar: yep. (Polar quickly pulls out his revolver and shoots Toxic in the chest) (Toxic instantly dies as screams are heard outside the room) Polar: you two take care of the town, I got your papers. Purple: yes sir. Assy: on it. (Assy and Purple leave the room) (More screams are heard as gunshots and slicing is heard) (Polar throws Toxic out of his chair and sits in it) Polar: tisk tisk tisk. (Polar opens Assy and Purples files) Polar: looks like it's all here. (Polar closes the file) ... (Screen shows a Man holding a dead Woman) (Assy is seen holding the man at gun point) Man 1: no...please no... (Assy shoots the Man in the head and then turns to Polar who is behind him) Assy: I believe he was the last person Polar. Purple: hey! Stop bitch! (A wounded Woman runs out of a building being chased by Purple) Woman 1: No! Stop! (Purple throws a knife at the Woman hitting her in the back) Woman 1: ahhhhh! (The Woman falls as Purple approaches) Woman 1: ahh...ahhhhh. (Before Purple gets to the Woman Polar shoots her from afar) Polar: well then. Assy:... Purple:... Polar: let's get you two ready for The Tournament. (The screen goes black) ... (Screen shows Assy laying in his bed) Assy:...there's no way of telling Polar...there's no way...there's no way... (Steeler walks into the room Assy is in) Steeler: hey Assy, everyone's having a meeting if you want to join. Assy:... Steeler: yep, didn't think so, I didn't really want to ask you honestly, we all drew straws, I drew the second shortest but Trixter, who lost, scares the shit out of me so I was voted to- Assy: get the fuck out! Steeler: yep yep, all good. (Steeler leaves the room) Assy:...idiot...I wish I didn't have to go to today's fight. (A magical sound is heard) Assy:...the fuck was that? (Screen shows everyone except Flats, Assy, Bantha and Lak in the middle of Wiktuary) Steeler: he's not coming. Devil: didn't think so. Sceptile: by the way, Tiger, where's Bantha, he's usually attached to your back isn't he? Tiger: he's sleeping. Gliscor: that thing can sleep? Tiger: not easy, just have to tire him out. Joe: how'd you- Tiger: I let him fuck some Banana Women and he passed out can we please get on with this meeting! Patts: he's right, shut up. Coupe: ok then, so, we all know something screwy is going on this year. Devil: like? Coupe: the way Wachow treats Flats, Flats knows something so Wachow is keeping him away from us. Wonder: we know this part, so what? Coupe: well Flats has gotta be somewhere, if we can speak to him we- Jake: hold up hold up hold up, this isn't something we should be talking about out loud, what if Wachows listening? Patts: if you'd been here at the beginning, we looked at the Wish Rule Book, nothing said we couldn't make a barrier that Wachow couldn't hear us through Jake: oh. Wonder: and we know it's working? Patts:... Wonder:...perfect. Killer: here's the thing, how can we find Flats if we have no clue where he is? Coupe: that's why I called everyone here, everyone will be given a Wish Rule Book and see if they can make a wish that shows us where Flats is, a wish that is allowed. DWAS: do we look like lawyers? Wonder:... Steeler:... Coupe:.... DWAS:...oh yeah, hell give me a fucking book I'll get this shit done in 5 minutes. (Coupe tosses a Rule Book to DWAS) Coupe: have at it, everyone else will still receive a book. Trixter: you know, coming here I didn't expect everyone to be all buddy-buddy and plotting against the man who can make us King. Tiger: well it's already obvious this year is different. Leandro: hold on a sec, ROB can't find an alternative? He's a robot. ROB: 01001110 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100. Leandro: I see, Patts? Patts: believe it or not, ROB can't read. Steeler: but he's a fucking robot! Patts: yeah, he's smart, but words on a piece of paper don't translate to his language, he can read binary and that's it. DWAS: easy, wish for a book in binary. Patts: already tried, the Wish Rule Book only has one language. DWAS: well that's a fucking stupid rule. Joe: so are we done? I'm pretty sure Wachows gunna show up any minute and when that happens I don't want him seeing everyone all bunched up. Coupe: he's right, this meeting is dismissed, if you want to help please wish yourself a Wish Rule Book. Steeler: I thought you was passing them out. Coupe: just wish one please. Steeler: fine. (Screen shows the Users at Wiktuary 30 minutes later) (A loud alarm is heard) Tiger: gah! What is that noise?! (Bantha's voice can be heard from far away) Bantha: hey! I'm awake now! Tiger: oh Christ. (Wachow appears in the middle of Wikuary) Wachow: fighters! It is time! Patts: here we go. Wachow: no need for waiting, I shall teleport everyone to the Arena. (A flash of light is seen) (Screen shows everyone except Flats and Assy at the Arena) Wachow: welcome to day 3 of The Tournament. Sceptile: *whiff* why does it smell like fire? Trixter: huh? Oh, nevermind. Wachow: nevermind that, anyways, I believe Flats deserves a little break, and as yesterday's winner he had his own place to watch. (A tall tower is seen a over the Arena) (Flats can be seen on top of the tower) Wonder: can he actually see? Wachow: he hasn't complained yet (Screen shows the top of the tower where a Lak copy is dressed like Flats) Lak Copy 1: how fucking embarrassing. (Screen shows the fighters again) Wachow: now then, let's get on with our first 3v3 fight shall we? Leandro: so is this going to be randomized? Wachow: haha, no, I have my own picks for tonight. (Another flash of light is seen) (The light goes away as Wonder, Leandro, Meat, Devil, Lak and Gliscor are seen on the arena) Wachow: the team of Wonder, Leandro and Meat will face the team of Devil, Lak and Gliscor! Patts: hm? Tiger: what's the matter? Patts: he put his own guy up there, Lak, I just didn't expect it. (Wonder forms electricity in his hands) Wonder: well, guess this is what I came for. (Leandro pulls out his brush) Leandro: I believe this is depending on us Wonder. (Meat wakes up for the first time today) Meat: huh...oh...ok. (Giant claws come out of Meats hands) (Meat glows a visible shade of red) Meat: LETS DO THIS! Leandro: oh shit. Wachow: so that's why he got in, I was starting to think he was a mistake. (Devil throws up lava) Devil: let's do this! (Gliscor starts to fly) Gliscor: watch this Sceptile! (Laks aura starts to glow) Lak: I shall not let Wachow down. Wachow: now then, let the fight begin! 3''' '''2 1''' '''FIGHT (Devil instantly throws lava at Meat) Wonder: Meat look o- (Meat quickly dodges the lava) Devil: wha- Meat: DID YOU REALLY THINK KILLING ME WOULD BE EASY?! (Meat lunges for Devil who moves out of the way) Devil: shit! I didn't expect him to actually fight! Gliscor: Lak! You get Wonder, I'll get Picasso. Lak: on it! (Gliscor and Lak run for Leandro and Wonder) Wonder: ready Leandro? Leandro: ready! (Leandro quickly draws a cannon) (Leandro then draws a match and lights the cannon) Leandro: here comes the- BOOM (The cannon shoots at Gliscor but he easily dodges it) Gliscor: gunna take more than that. Leandro: oh don't worry, I'm aware. (Leandro then draws a giant magnet) Gliscor: huh? (Gliscor is then hit from behind by the cannon ball) Gliscor: agh! That doesn't even make sense! (Leandro then draws a giant hammer) Leandro: time to end this! Gliscor: oh no you don't! (Gliscor uses quick attack and hits the hammer out of Leandro's hand) Leandro: shit! Gliscor: Rock Climb! (Rocks start to fall on Leandro) Leandro: gah! Agh! Fuck! (Leandro draws a metal umbrella) Leandro: that'll do. Gliscor: no for long! Metal Claw! (Gliscors claw turn metal) (Gliscor breaks the umbrella with his claw) Gliscor: now for you! Rock Wrecker! Leandro: not so fast! (Leandro draw a clear box around Gliscor) Gliscor: huh? (Gliscor tries to break the box to no avail) Gliscor: what the fuck! (Leandro then draws a snowblower inside the box) Leandro: take this! (The snowblower shoots out a bunch of snow at Gliscor) SUPER EFFECTIVE Gliscor: Gah! (The box is destroyed as Gliscor is seen frozen in a block of ice) Leandro:...hmph. Wonder: Leandro! Help! Leandro: I'm coming Wonder! (Screen shows Wonder fighting off 5 Laks) Wonder: I can't...keep...them off... (The bolt of lightening hits 2 of the Laks as they disappear) Lak: this is too easy. Leandro: back off! (Lak dodges getting hit by Leandro) Lak: it won't be that easy. (Lak summons copies of him) Leandro: oh yeah? (Leandro draws copies of him) Leandro: you're not the only one. Lak: hm, impressive, but not. (Lak stomps the ground making cracks under all of Leandro's copies) (All of Leandro's copies fall into the ground) Leandro: wha- Lak: I'll fight you, thank you very much. Leandro: two can play at this game. (Pianos fall on all of the Lak copies) Lak: when did you- Leandro: take this! (Leandro quickly draws a sword and slashes at Lak) (Lak is barely able to dodge it as he gets his footing) Lak: alright then, just you and me! (Lak shoots a blue fireball at Leandro) (Leandro draws a rain cloud and puts the fire out) (Lak then jumps toward Leandro and kicks him in the face) Leandro: gah! Lak: this is over! (Lak is about to stomp on Leandro's neck when he gets hit by a bolt of lightening) Lak: gah! Leandro: huh? Wonder: I...I'm here. Lak: how did you kill all my- (Lak gets hit by another bolt of lightening) Lak: gah! Wonder: Leandro! Finish him off! Leandro: on it! (Leandro picks up his giant hammer) (Lak summons two more copies) Lak: kill him! (Lak then gets smashed by the giant hammer, killing him) Leandro: *huff, huff* we did it Wonder...Wonder? (Leandro looks behind him to see Wonder with two swords in his back) (Both of the swords are being held by Lak copies) Wonder: L....Le. Lak Copy 1: erg... Lak Copy 2: we did...what was needed... (Both of the Lak Copy's fade away as Wonder slowly dies) Trixter:...hmm. Leandro: shit Wonder! Wachow: ahahaha...well then, the fight is over. Leandro: but..but what about Devil. (Screen shows a dead Devil with Meat sleeping on top of him) Wachow: Meat killed Devil about 10 minutes ago and then fell asleep. (Devil, Gliscor, Lak and Wonders bodies all fade away) Wachow: mmmm...yes. Leandro: Meat! You could've helped us! Wonder died because of you. Meat: *wakes up* hmm? Oh...morning Leandro. Leandro:...*sigh* at least we won. Wachow: indeed, good job to the both of you. DWAS: Leandro basically carried that battle by himself. Sceptile:...Gliscor... Jake: Scetile, are you ok? Sceptile: huh? Yeah I'm fine, he was always an asshole just...gotta get used to knowing he's gone...I'm fine really. Jake: if you say so. Wachow: well then, now 4 more of you are gone, this Tournament is going by very quickly, until tomorrow fighters. Trixter: hold up. Wachow: hm? Trixter: where's Flats? Wachow: he's up there, see? (The Lak Copy is no longer seen) Wachow: oh...right. Trixter: that Flats faded away the second Lak died, meaning he was a fucking Lak Copy is disguise, I demand answers. Wachow: I see...Tomorrow your questions will be answered. Trixter: that's not good enough! Wachow: good bye. (A flash of light is seen) (Screen shows Assy leaving his room) Assy: huh? Where is everyone? (Screen shows a trap door open up near Assy) Assy: oh shit. (Assy hides in a nearby bush as Lak exits the trap door) (Flats voice can be heard) Flats: get fucking back here! Lak: the fight is over and I must leave, they cannot know I'm still alive, I've gotten enough info from you today. (The trap door closes) Lak: Wachow, I'm coming back. (Lak disappears as the other Users appear moments later) Killer: Assy? Did you not go to the fight? Joe: how'd you do that? Assy: guys... Coupe:... Patts:... ROB:... Assy: I think I found something. (The screen goes black) Next Time on Wiki Kombat (Screen shows younger Sceptile and Gliscor fighting) Coupe: Laks alive? Leandro: that's impossible, I kill him! Assy: I know what I saw! Trixter: there's defiantly a door here, but even my magic can't open it. Killer: so what do we do. Wachow: I think it's about time Flats get some action again. (Screen shows Flats, Patts, ROB and Jake on the Arena) Flats: well shit. Category:Blog posts